Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Marilyn Monroe, Liberal Democrat, Big Foot

I was watching the news yesterday and saw that the people whose father is buried in the crypt shelve just above Marilyn Monroe has remove their father's body and have the space up for sale for 4 million dollars. So for 4 mill you can be buried face down on top of Marilyn. That so stupid. I think they could make a lot more money just renting it out.

Today I learned a new definition of what a Liberal Democrat is. Their a person that takes your birthday cake away from you, slices it up into small pieces and then distributes the pieces to those less fortunate for not having a birthday the same day as you.
I was watching a program today about Big Foot. Through scientific evidence they discovered not only its genus classification, but that all their names are Bill.

I am so in love with my Girl. Yesterday she made me pancakes and while eating them she told me something very profound. "Having pancakes is just the best excuse for eating butter and syrup", I agree whole heatedly.

I like using Craig's list. Today I created a new listing with a $400.00 price tag on it. Already I've had 6 offers, sad to say two of em wanted me to take a money order for $600.00 and send them back $200.00 and two others wrote the same exact note that read " I help u sell stuff, i real goood at selling and can hep you". The good news is that I did get two legitimate offers. I always knew that my one of a kind, original "Peanuts" comic book, autographed by Charlie Brown himself, was worth lots of money.

When it comes to hearing I think a lot of people are ambidextrous. Words go into either ear and out the other.

I became a member of the Polar Bear Club today. Least by Florida standards. I jumped into the pool at my apartment here in Flint with the outdoor temperature of 65 degrees. Burrrr. My testicles turned into Popsicles.

P.S. Speaking of watching the new on television. I hate it. You get to watch two minutes of news and then have to watch four minutes of commercials. I am going back to reading the newspaper, least then the only distraction is the cat trying to climb up on your lap. Maybe it would be a good idea for the newspapers to use my distaste for commercial interruptions in there own marketing campaign. That plus making the printers ink smell like strawberries.

Read more stuff at