What's a Michimittener?

Maureen cooked ribs on the grill and boiled up some Michigan grown corn on the cob. The ears were so sweet it was like licking the sweat off an angel’s back.

I do feel just a wee bit bad that I didn’t do the grilling, but like my home electrical projects, when I finish grilling, fireman suddenly appear.

I am eating to much since I’ve moved here to Michigan. Course it mostly survival eating. Got to lay down a layer of blubber before winter sets in next week. I’m thinking about gaining about 20 pounds, that ought to get me through to November. Then I can pack on some more pounds during the Thanksgiving Day massacre.

Michigan is a tough place to be in the winter. Truly it’s the survival of the plumpest. I’m not saying people that live here are fat, just that they’ve already laid down a nice layer of pudd’en for upcoming winters. Us people from Florida have to prepare and acclimate ourselves to live through the arctic season. Miami Beach anorexics don’t last long here.

I kind of miss some things now that I’ve moved away from Florida, but there’s some things I don’t miss. Like those really skinny older ladies that I used to see walking the beaches. The kind of woman that you can’t tell how old they are after they’ve spend a lifetime under the Florida sun that has dried they’re bodies into a leathery mass of loose wrinkly skin. Mostly they reminded me of those Slim Jims you buy at 7-11. Long skinny, beef jerky sticks with legs.

Maureen had to go to the doctors today for lady stuff. I don’t want to talk about what all she had to go through, but it involved medical tools that a masochist would be embarrass to be seen using and paper gowns that have three slits randomly cut into them so you can’t tell if your legs, arms or head are supposta go in em.

Supposta is a Michigan word. It’s a word meaning that something should go in a certain place. It’s supposta go there. So if you’re ever in Michigan you’re supposta use that word.

We went out to have ice cream last night. Walked to a place down the street from us called the Feather and Fin. Had a really different tasting ice cream flavor, hand dipped meat loaf scoops in a waffle cone, then covered in thick dark gravy. See, that’s how Michiganders eat ice cream.

Michiganders, that’s what people from Michigan call themselves. I guess that’s better than calling themselves the frozen people that live on the mitten shaped land surrounded on three sides by water or Michimitteners.

I’ve got to go now. I’m supposta go try on some parkas. Parka is a Michigan word for a sleeping bag you wear in the winter that have 3 random slits cuts into it that you don’t know which hole your legs, arms or head fits through.

P.S. Do angel’s sweat? And if they do, does it glisten like meteor dust.