From the Fastest to the Smartest

What a great time at the “Crim Race Festival”. The weather was perfect for the runners, temperatures around 60 degrees (That’s equivalent to 10 below for us Floridanians).

People that were running the race had a great time. Many of them dressed up in goofy costumes. Some wore Batman outfits, others wonder woman costumes (Thankfully those were mostly women) and one guy juggled basketballs the whole 10 miles. The most embarrassing sight was when one guy dressed up in a Flint Tropic’s uniform. If you don’t know about the Flint Tropics, it was a fictional basketball team from the movie “Semi-Pro” with Will Farrell and filmed in Flint Michigan. Well, this guy wore those same kind of old fashion basketball shorts, the ones that are cut way high up the thigh. Trouble was he must have forgot his underpants cause he ran half the race with his Monkey Wagon. (Yes, I am still looking for ways to use the term Monkey Wagon.)

Next year we’re going to host an after “Crim” party at our new loft, downtown. The finishing line is right in front of our new place. We’re thinking of serving “Crim Bolay”. (This stuff is not meant to be funny, just amusing.)

I didn’t run the race, mostly because it involves exercise. My trouble is that whenever I start to think about exercising I get dizzy and have to lie down. I have the same symptoms whenever I think or hear the word, work.

It was fun watching the race and seeing all the different running styles. There’s your “Up-Tight” runners, the ones that keep their elbows close to their ribs and their bodies as still as possible. Kind of looks like their afraid they might poop their pants and are doing all they can to clinch their sphincter shut.

There’s the “I’m dancing” runners, the kind that’s got everything just a swinging. They look sort of like how a white guy looks trying to be funky, in a Hip Hop club.

Then there’s the “Grimacers”. They’re the ones that have that “OMG I am going to die” look on their face. It looks as if each step they take feels like their appendix is about to burst. Trouble is, is that they’ve had this same face on from the starting line.

I learned today that the smartest farm animal is the pig. Of course their IQ drops the longer you hold their head underwater.

Did you see in the news today that even the National Weather Service is trying to get more tax money with their new “Hurricane Bill”.

P.S. You can use the hold their head underwater joke on anyone or anything listed as the “smartest”. David Hawkins, today was named the smartest man in the world. But studies did report that his IQ dropped expediently the longer you hold his head underwater. Course when you talk about Dolphins’ you have to change it to “Studies report that the Dolphin is the smartest water mammal on earth. But during testing it was found that their IQ dropped significantly the longer you kept them out of water”.

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http://stephenjamescomedy.blogspot.com/